Thursday, October 1, 2009

Behind every successful man there is a woman...

It seems, from looking back at all romantic relationships I've been involved in and that I have witnessed, that the men tend to be the ones dictating the course of the relationship(not always but most of the time).
I suppose that can be attributed to the fact that we've been raised in patriarchal societies where we've been told men are the leaders,protectors and providers of the family unit and therefore when in a union with a man,a woman's role is one of support.For example there is a saying that goes: Behind every successful man there is a woman.
So I personally have always believed that I should support my significant other to help him become the leader that he needs to be.And of course I know some men also do the same for their female counterparts nowadays though its still a relatively new concept for the man to play a supporting role to a womans life.
I have no problem with women playing a supporting role to their significant others however what I don't like is when men abuse that privalege.Yes it's a privalege.Because more often than not supporting someone involves some compromise on your part.A simple example is one of my parents;my mother had to quit her job just when she had qualified to receive extra benefits from her employers and leave her friends to follow my father to a new country because he wanted to find better oppotunities for his career.Now of course he was doing this for the benefit of his family and we are happier now but my mother has had to abandon her career and become a housewife.She supported him and also compromised her goals for the bigger picture.
Now some men are selfish but still expect your support.They want to take time for themselves,tend to their own happiness,disregard your needs and still expect to have you waiting for them when they are done searching their souls.
What differs from woman to woman is how much she can put up with before she decides what she can't compromise on.I used to think I had to go all out,be that woman that will follow you to the ends of the earth to prove her devotion to you but I think it's time to redefine my boundaries and increase my list of things I cannot compromise on.Some women will put up with verbal or physical abuse,cheating,disrespect,disloyalty,stupidity etc hoping that one day this man shall wake up and see what an amazing supportive woman he has.There needs to be a balance,do not compromise more for your partner than he'd compromise for you.Because one day you'll wake up and wonder why the hell you're feeling so miserable and your life is spent making his comfortable.I refuse to see that happen to me.I will still be supportive and I will compromise but Im setting some standards and expectations that make me happy that I expect to be fulfilled.And if they are not met then Ill cut my losses and move on.Life's to short to spend it living for someone else.

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